Topic
What globalization done
to Indonesia
Support Sentence 1
Globalization change
how people dressed in Indonesia, follow the trend fashion in the world because
of globalization.
Support Sentence 2
Globalization impact
to technology in Indonesia, more advance technology that used in every area.
Support Sentence 3
Food also affected by
globalization in Indonesia, there is lot of fast food and foreign restaurant
Concluding Sentence
Globalization has
change Indonesia a lot in every aspect and in every kind of field in Indonesia.
Globalization have positive and negative effect to Indonesia but most of it is
positive because of globalization Indonesia grow so fast.
Essay :
Globalization
is a process of interaction and integration among people worldwide. What change
in Indonesia from globalization process. There is three thing that I would like
to talk about there is fashion, technology and food. This three things is the
big things that change in Indonesia.
First is fashion, because of globalization
people in Indonesia change the way they dress. People in Indonesia used to be
closed and polite clothes now people use clothes that much more open and against
the culture in Indonesia. And this happened because people in Indonesia follow
the trend fashion in other country that they think much more better fashion
taste then how Indonesia dressed.
Second is technology, in Indonesia
technology give a lot of positive effect. People work so much more faster,
efficient and easy because of the help of technology. Technology change the way
people work not only people who work in office but also industries and even
farms. Technology help Indonesia to work faster and better now and it’s a good
thing.
Last is food, and we can see now in Indonesia
we can find foreign restaurant and many fast food. People now prefer eating in
foreign restaurant because they think the taste of foreign food is better than
Indonesian food. Fast food is also can be found everywhere and fast food is the
most chosen place to eat. People choosing eating fast food because its easy to
get and also we can buy it anytime we want.
If we see the effect of globalization that
change Indonesia have a positive and negative. But I think there is more
positive side then the negative. Because of globalization Indonesia is grow so
much faster and Indonesia is so much better now then how its used to be.
Hallo aldo, i am so happy to read on your essay but for betterment you can repair you sentences become specific because i think that your essay too general. Thank you, have anice day
ReplyDeleteHi Aldo, your essay is great. good job
ReplyDeleteHi, aldo. Actually your essay is already good, but I think it is too general. Maybe you can discuss about fashion only, or technology, or food. Fighting, do!
ReplyDeleteHi Aldo... I like your essay but I suggest you to make it more specific because I think it's too general
ReplyDeleteIts a good essay but its too general. Good job aldo
ReplyDeleteHi Aldo, it's a good essay, you explain the outline clearly but i think your essay is too general.
ReplyDeletehey, Aldo. as it said about formal essay, i suggest you to change word 'i' to another word to make it more formal. overall, you already did a great job!
ReplyDeletehi Aldo, i’ve read your essay and i found it was a very good essay! the way you choose your sentences makes the readers especially me undestood, and it was very good because you put the time phares according to period of the time. Good job !
ReplyDeleteHi Aldo, you have a great essay. I think in academic writing, you need to avoid using first and second person pronouns.
ReplyDeleteCheer up!!
Hay aldo, your essay too general but actually its very good.
ReplyDeleteyour essay is already good. that is not too general but not to specific, so you can still elaborate the supporting sentences. good job, Aldo! :)
ReplyDelete